With the new year comes the chance for a fresh start, an opportunity to let go of the past, and a resolution to make the next year better than ever.
The best time to focus on creating more love and connection in your life is now!
Here are nine resolutions to make as a couple to revitalize your relationship, free yourself of old habits, and make space for the new.
1. Communicate More
Communication is the foundation to a successful relationship. Make this the year you and your partner really start communicating. This means making time on a regular basis to talk openly about what’s going on in your lives.
Regular check-ins—even when things are going well!— can help prevent small issues from turning into big ones. And the more you practice, the easier it gets to talk freely and honestly.
Build trust and strengthen your bond by prioritizing communication.
2. Learn Something New Together
Learning something new with your partner is a fun and effective way to connect romantically. You could do anything from cooking to salsa dancing! Pick something you’ve both wanted to learn and dive in.
Not only will you gain a new skill, but you’ll engage in a shared experience that can bring you closer together.
Here are some ideas for fun learning activities:
- Learning a language
- Rock climbing
You could even turn your new hobby into a date activity. For instance, if learning how to cook your favorite type of cuisine is one of your goals this year — turn it into a romantic evening by cooking the meal together. Bring out the nice dishes and enjoy a delicious meal and a special evening with each other.
3. Spend More Quality Time Together
If you live with your partner, you’re probably used to being around them all the time. It can be easy to fall into the trap of taking each other for granted, and not making time to connect deeply. This year, make a resolution to schedule regular dates.
This doesn’t have to be anything elaborate or expensive—in fact, sometimes the simplest things are the most enjoyable. Revisit some of the things you used to do at the start of your relationship.
Go for a walk in the park, have a picnic lunch, watch the sunset, or take a drive to nowhere in particular. The key is to focus on each other, and make the time together count.
4. Strengthen Your Communication Skills About Issues
Is talking about your true concerns and feelings hard for you? There’s no better time to build that skill-set than now. Instead of holding things in, start practicing how to communicate effectively.
When you have a concern—state it openly. Don’t beat around the bush, hoping your partner will catch on or read your mind.
And if it’s hard for you to get to the root of what’s bothering you, practice writing your feelings down. Pour out your stream of consciousness onto a piece of paper. This will help you organize your thoughts and feelings so you gain the clarity you need to talk with your partner.
5. Prioritize Sex
If you’re struggling to get in the mood, it might be because your relationship has gotten too routine. For some couples, this means adding in something totally new—like kink or a new sex toy. For others, maybe sex has fallen far from the priorities list.
With the numerous demands in our lives, we often get caught in a cycle of busyness, and let relationship needs fall to the wayside.
Can’t remember the last time you and your partner had sex? Schedule it in!
If you’ve never done this, it can seem a little odd. We often hold the belief that sex should always be spontaneous. That it will just happen.
But if we don’t put in the effort—how do we expect it to happen? Embrace the schedule. With sex on the calendar, you’ll treat it like a priority—and see the transformative impact it can have on your relationship.
6. Get a Little Adventurous
Routines can be comfortable, but over time comfort can turn into complacency. What was once exhilarating becomes stale and uninspiring.
To keep your relationship feeling fresh and exciting—do something new each month.
You can visit a new restaurant, try a new board game, or take a weekend trip to somewhere you’ve never been before. This resolution is all about exploration and expanding your horizons as a couple.
Put all your ideas into a jar and pick one each month. If each month seems way too ambitious, scale it down! Try every two or three months. Whatever is manageable, but still gives you something to look forward to. The added spontaneity will keep you excited for what’s to come together.
7. More Appreciation, Less Criticism
Nothing sends a relationship into a downward spiral faster than constant criticism. Make sure you and your partner make a conscious effort to show your gratitude and love for one another.
As humans, we tend to dwell on the negative much more than the positive. This makes it much easier to critique and complain than to recognize the little things your partner does that make your life better.
This year, make it your goal to focus on the good. And let your partner know it!
8. Add Playfulness to Your Relationship
As we get older, there’s no reason we need to give up on fun and play. Playfulness can bring more fulfillment and joy in your relationship!
Make it a goal to re-introduce playfulness into your intimate partnership. When we were kids, we were always making up games and seeking fun. Tap into the thrill and excitement of building a pillow fort or running through the park with ice cream.
Recapture that childlike sense of fun and wonder and bring it into your relationship.
Bring on the:
- Tickle fights
- Pillow fights
You can even bring playfulness into the bedroom—by trying new toys, new positions, role playing. Just enjoy yourselves!
9. Have Individual Goals and Keep Each Other Accountable
As the new year rolls around, you and your partner are likely thinking about individual goals. This is also great for your relationship!
Continue to cultivate your individual selves, by pursuing the activities that remain meaningful to you.
As you work on yourselves, you become the partners you want to be for each other. And don’t forget to share your individual goals with your partner so you can hold each other accountable.
To More Love and Intimacy This Year
This year, cultivate more fulfillment in your relationship. Make a resolution to prioritize the actions that will help you grow as individuals and partners. You’ll keep the spark alive and build on that foundation you’ve already built together.
And if you’re wanting some more support to create the relationship you want—don’t hesitate to reach out. Our couples and sex therapists are here to help you on your way to more love and intimacy.
Want to learn more about couples therapy? Contact us here.