Are you thinking about divorce?
If you find yourself already thinking about divorce, the first step you need to take is to seek help. All marriages suffer wear and tear over the years, some drift so far apart that there is no coming back. How do you know when it’s worth it to stay and when it’s time to leave?
Couples Therapy: Help me make the decision if divorce is for me or not.
You enter a marriage with the dream of a lifelong union, but even the best couples can reach a crisis point where divorce is on the table. Couples who make rushed decisions to leave a marriage haven’t taken time to really analyze their feelings, options, and current situation. A couples therapist will guide you towards making the right decision, whether that’s committing to getting your relationship back on the right track or taking steps toward divorce.
Couples Therapy: How to avoid divorce?
A professional couples therapist will help you identify underlying issues. Usually, financial problems, sexual problems, emotional distance, affairs, or an illness can cause a couple to think about divorce. With the help of a couples therapist, you can start implementing solutions to avoid divorce.
Every marriage is different; every marital situation is different. Choosing the right couples therapist is extremely important in determining whether your marriage is going through a small bump on the road or if it’s going through something more serious. Going to couples therapy will also help you keep your conscious clear, knowing you gave your marriage the best chance of success and really tried everything.
Couples Therapy: Help me get divorced!
If you already have a foot out the door and feel that the only option is divorce, a couples therapist can help you both decide how to proceed, prepare yourself for change, and find the strength you will need to go through a divorce.
When you feel divorce is the only option, seeking help from a couples therapist will help you make a wise decision instead of reacting to all the emotions you are feeling. Premature divorce can only bring more turmoil, and instead of having a quick, amicable divorce, you end up prolonging it longer than needed.
A couples therapist can also suggest different options, like a trial separation, or if you have kids, help you develop a plan for co-parenting.
Couples Therapy: Discernment session
If your spouse refuses to come to couples’ therapy because they’re convinced that nothing will help, then it’s time to talk about discernment counseling. Explain to your spouse this will not be a “couples therapy session,” it will be a “discernment session.”
During a discernment session, a couples therapist will help you both understand how you each contributed to bringing the relationship to this situation. This can be important for the success of both your current and future relationships.
Both you and your spouse will have to make changes to either end your relationship or to make your troubled marriage better. During these sessions, you will receive the help you need to determine the next steps for your relationship.
Understand that you cannot change your spouse, but you can change yourself. Focus on you – on making yourself a better person and becoming emotionally stronger. This will help you get the most out of couples therapy.