Sometimes we get stuck in life, in big ways and small ways, and don’t always know how it happened or how to get unstuck. Struggling with relationship, sexual, or gender issues is often that much harder because these parts of ourselves feel so private, vulnerable, and hard to talk about. My mission is to help you build a compass based on what is important to you to point a way out of that stuck place and to walk with you along the way. I believe going back to what we value, figuring out what is important, and how we can connect with that can help us find direction when we’re lost.
What matters the most to me, in therapy, is what matters the most to you. My goals as your therapist are to help explore that, help you move towards it, and to hold space for all the tough parts of change – the pain, uncertainty, confusion – as well as the celebrations. My goals as a person are to create a space where you feel welcome, validated, and accepted – especially so for people who have been excluded and marginalized.
Nicole specializes in…
- Licensed Professional Counselor
- Clinical Supervisors: Zuzana Sakova, LPC and Karlaina Brooke, PsyD, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist
- Bachelor of Arts in Psychology – Oklahoma State University
- Master of Science in Mental Health Counseling – Oklahoma State University
- Advanced Trainings
- Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy – ICEEFT Externship and Core Skills Training
- Certificate in Sex Therapy from the California Institute of Integral Studies
I’m passionate about sex therapy because I have seen and experienced the harm that our society’s negative messaging about sexuality – any sexuality, all sexuality – does. Growing up a queer kid in Oklahoma, the messages about sexuality were clear: what sex was acceptable, who should be allowed to be together, what it meant if what you wanted from your sexuality did not fit into a narrow definition of what sex “should” be. None of it was about pleasure or connection. I wanted to become a sex therapist because I saw the shame, fear, and self-hatred that this attitude instills in our relationships with ourselves and others, the challenges that it creates when we feel like it’s not okay to talk about sex openly and honestly. I want to change that, for people as individuals, and change the messages we send. My passion for social justice stems from the same place – seeing every day, in my friends and myself, the effect prejudice and oppression have on people. Serving the LGBTQ community is especially important to me, because I know the deep injuries that exist around sexuality and relationships for us, and I want to help my community heal.
For me, the most rewarding part of sex therapy is helping people build relationships with themselves and their partners that celebrate their authentic sexuality and ways of connecting. My therapeutic approach is most heavily influenced by Feminist, Cognitive Behavioral, and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. I believe the power of therapy is connecting with others to explore, define, and create meaningful relationships with ourselves and others. CBT and EFT focus on how we make – and can often miss – connections, and the meanings we make from them. Feminist therapy is about empowering you within your real-life context, as a whole person.
When I’m not at work, my time is split pretty evenly between working on art projects, reading or watching just about everything I can get my hands on, and finding new hiking trails. I also have a deep love of things that grow, and am trying to make that work living in the city!