Shelby Lanier

MA, Marriage and Family Therapist Associate

(she / her)

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Pain and suffering are often unavoidable, yet so many of us avoid looking at the parts of ourselves that have been hurt or fill us with shame. It is not uncommon to have relationship injuries, pain around sex, our sexualities, and our bodies. My goal with my clients is to help them look at themselves, their life experiences, and their desires with more compassion and confidence. I want to provide a safety net in therapy, free from judgment and shame, so that my clients feel safe to explore their relational and erotic desires, practice articulating their needs and boundaries in relationships, and touch on any shadowy parts that need attention and grace. Regardless of one’s intersecting identities, past traumas, sexual desires, or desired relationship structure, I believe we all deserve a life of connection, honesty, respect, and agency. 

Shelby specializes in…

  • Licensure
  • MS
  • Clinical Supervisor: Alissa Goddard, MA, LMFT
  • Degrees
  • Bachelor of Science in Psychology- Washington State University
  • Marriage, Couple and Family Therapy – Lewis and Clark College

My Journey

My path to becoming a therapist has been a long and winding one. From bio-anthropology to nursing school and finally to pursuing an education in human psychology, I have always been drawn to understanding the human mind, our relationships, and how I can support others in addressing mental health and interpersonal concerns. I received my Master of Arts in Marriage, Couple, and Family Therapy with a specialization in sex therapy and graduated summa cum laude. Growing up in the Pacific Northwest, joys that have kept me rooted along the way have always been the lush nature surrounding us, my precious pets, and my supportive loved ones. 

When I was 12 years old, I saw a therapist for the first time and remember thinking, “I would love to be there for people like my therapist is for me.” This memory has propelled me in my journey toward becoming a therapist. In addition, my identity as a neurodivergent queer woman and my experiences living with Complex PTSD have equipped me with a compassion toward human suffering and a drive to forge paths to healing with my clients. It is important that I also acknowledge the power and privilege I carry with me in the world and into the therapy room, such as being White, cis-gendered, and able bodied. I always strive to lead with curiosity, empathy, and openness when working with all of my clients. 

All of these reasons and more have led me to where I am now, always seeking to learn and grow in my profession as a marriage, couples, and family therapist and sex therapist. I have endless empathy for those who have been wounded in life (which are all of us) and who are taking the first, scariest steps of seeking out help and support. I believe most problems, solutions, and healing begin at home with the support of those around us. I aspire to provide socioculturally-sensitive support and guidance that builds upon evidenced-based approaches that encourage progress, trust in our therapeutic relationship, and each client’s inherent strengths.

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Your free confidential consultation includes:

  • Personalized matching process to ensure you’re paired with the right therapist from the start
  • Free 30-minute consultation with your therapist prior to your first appointment
  • Ongoing support from our team to ensure you have everything you need to make therapy a success


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We're ready to listen.

We will respond to your inquiry within 48 business hours.

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