Why Is My Sex Drive so Low? 6 Causes of Low Sex Drive

Are you wondering why your sex drive is suddenly so low? Or maybe why your partner’s sex drive is low? Perhaps you’ve had little interest in sex for a long time now. 

You’re not the only one! In fact, low sexual desire is the most common concern we hear from our clients. 

It’s normal for your sex drive to fluctuate over time. But if you’re concerned about your decreased sexual desire, it may be time to find out what’s going on.

Here are some of the most common causes of low sex drive for men and women. 

1. Stress

Does it feel like stress is getting in the way of your relationship? When you’re constantly busy with work, family, financial, and life responsibilities—it’s easy to start running on autopilot. It feels impossible to muster enough energy for anything else. 

At the end of the day you’re exhausted and not really in the mood for sex!

Constant stress keeps you from quieting the mind so you can be present with your partner. 

Yes, your sex drive during a pandemic may not look the same as it did pre-pandemic. And it’s essential to find ways to cope and reconnect with your body

If your stress is overwhelming, a therapist can help you develop the tools to manage the stress in your life, so you can make space for your desire to grow again.

2. Mental Health Concerns

Underlying mental health issues like anxiety and depression also take a toll on your sex drive.  

Depression can have a major impact on your desire and motivation to engage in all kinds of life activities. If you’re struggling with depression you know how it can make you feel completely uninterested in the things you used to enjoy! Some antidepressants are also known to reduce sex drive. 

Anxiety can cause excessive worry and keep you from relaxing and having enjoyable sex. If you have an anxiety disorder, you can be consumed by your worries. This can absolutely disrupt many areas of your life—including sex drive. 

If you suspect you have mental health concerns, a skilled therapist is a valuable resource. They can offer you ways of coping and working through your struggles so you can get back to feeling like yourself again.

3. Medical Conditions and Medications

Illnesses like chronic pain, high blood pressure, heart disease and other chronic conditions can impact how you feel overall and make you less likely to desire sex. The physical strain, emotional challenges, or treatment side effects can cause you to have a lower sex drive. 

Other physiological causes of low sex drive can include sexual pain conditions and issues with sleep.

Medications are also a potential culprit when it comes to low sex drive.

Common medications that may cause low sex drive:

  • Antidepressants
  • High blood pressure medication
  • Birth control pills
  • Medications that treat seizures
  • Antipsychotics
  • Steroid medications
  • Opioid pain relievers
  • Cancer treatments

Check and see if low sex drive is a potential side effect of one of your medications. If you suspect that medication is triggering your low sex drive, bring up your concerns with your doctor. They may be able to provide you with other options. 

4. Getting Older

It’s totally normal for your sex drive to shift as you get older. One big reason sex drive changes as we age has to do with the level of testosterone in our bodies. 

Testosterone affects sex drive for men and women. For men, testosterone levels are at their highest in early adulthood, then tend to drop as you age. 

While women don’t have as much testosterone as men, it’s still a hormone that plays into sex drive for women. For women, testosterone levels peak in the mid-20s then start to drop. Women also see reduced levels of estrogen during menopause, which can result in lower sex drive. 

It’s also important to note that sex drive often—but not always—decreases with age. If you’ve experienced a significant change to your sex drive, we’re here to help get to the bottom of it.

5. Conflict in Your Relationship

On the other hand, your low sex drive may be rooted in relationship conflicts. Over time if your sexual needs aren’t being met, you may lose interest in trying to initiate sex altogether. 

If you and your partner have some unresolved conflict keeping you disconnected, it can be hard to feel in the mood for sex. Negative emotions like tension, frustration, and resentment are all libido killers. 

You’re exhausted after fighting and you may need to work on your emotional connection so that your sexual desire can recover.

We know that emotional intimacy and physical intimacy both play a role in your romantic relationship. That’s why we specialize in both couples and sex therapy at The Center

When there’s conflict, love and intimacy can feel difficult to achieve. Through fixing that emotional connection, you can start to heal your relationship and restore the sexual relationship you once had.

6. Major Life Changes

Life changes like moving, getting a new job, having a baby, losing a loved one, or living through a pandemic can significantly impact your desire for sex. These big life events are major disruptions in your life—even the good events!—and can add new stress and fatigue to your life.

Giving birth is a big event that can lead to feeling disconnected from your sexual self. Low sex drive after having kids is quite common. All your attention and energy goes to your new baby, leaving little room for desire. So, prioritizing intimacy is key. 

If sex feels like a chore after a long and hectic schedule, you’ll want to consider making a plan to rekindle the intimacy. We highly encourage scheduling sex. Set up some positive anticipation by letting your partner know you can’t wait for the evening. 

Remember, the more you have sex, the more you’ll want to have sex! Even through big life changes, you can continue to make your sexual relationship a priority. 

Is It Time to See a Sex Therapist About My Low Sex Drive?

Communication is essential for a healthy and thriving relationship. But we understand that it can be difficult. And we know how frustrating it is when your sex drive has suddenly vanished.

We work with clients struggling with low sex drive each day, so we know exactly how to support you to move past this. Imagine regaining your desire and having pleasurable sex once again.

Low sex drive is the number one concern our clients come to us with, and we’re ready to help you. Schedule your free consultation and let’s help you rekindle your sexual desire.


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